This post is a part 2 to my 9/11 post, That Devastating Tuesday. If you haven’t read that post, I recommend reading it first. It is important to remember that my thoughts and memories are from 20 years ago, when I was 9 and 10 years old.
*This post has no graphic images or descriptions of the events of September 11th or the following months/years. This post is not a political statement of any kind about past or current events. Please do not start or engage in any political discussion in the comments on these posts.*
Somehow, life went on. I had my 10th birthday. I was slightly disappointed that finally being in the double digits wasn’t as fun as I thought it would be. For whatever reason I thought that would be ‘so cool.’ Perhaps that was just something simple and easy to focus on, so that I could ignore the shit show that the world had become.
October 2001
Fast forward a few weeks. My Grandma Marie was visiting from Long Island, and we had gone to Fort McHenry before having to bring her to BWI airport for her flight home. If you’ve read this post, you may remember this piece of my story.
There is a movie that everyone visiting watches when you visit Fort McHenry. At the end of it, the national anthem plays while curtains open up and you see American Flag outside. We were lucky enough to visit at sunset- it was a beautiful moment. I don’t think there was a dry eye in that room. Not only was it powerful in the context of where we were, but it had only been a couple weeks since the 11th.
Then, something else happened. The man that worked there and was running the tour, stood up and announced to the room that the United States military had just bombed Afghanistan. And that meant one thing.
War.
The Airport
I did not want my Grandma to get on a plane and fly home. I went with my Dad to drop her off at the airport, and we were still able to go to the gate with her. This would have stopped being allowed around this time.
It was chaos. I felt so small. People were mainly calm, but there were police and military and dogs everywhere. I later learned there were even people the airlines hired to entertain the crowds waiting to board the planes, hoping to keep spirits up. My Grandma later said that the airlines had done a great job of handling a scary situation, and that she hadn’t been worried. Maybe she lied to me to make me feel better. My Dad told me that that day was one of the safest times to get on an airplane and that I shouldn’t worry. But, of course I did. I mean, does he not know me at all? I’m a champion warrior. I would win a gold medal at the Olympics in worrying and overthinking. (Paris 2024, anyone? I know I’m not the only one out there with these skills.)
The Evolution of Airport Security
After the September 11th attacks, security in airports changed, and they are constantly evolving. Previously, anyone was able to go to the gate to say goodbye or to greet loved ones. Now, in extreme circumstances you are able to get a gate pass, and you still have to go through security and other screening protocols.
Check out this article to learn more about the evolution of airport security.
When I look at the timeline of changes to security, the creation of TSA, and the Department of Homeland Security, it’s hard to feel anything but appreciative. Yes, going through security at an airport is aggravating. Yes, I get sick of hearing the “unattended baggage” announcements. But, go look at some photos of the towers falling on 9/11. It’s sobering. So next week when I get on a plane, I’ll be more than happy to wait in the lines, take my ID out again and again, and take my shoes off.
If that’s the price I have to pay so I never have to watch footage of an attack like 9/11, I’ll gladly pay it.
*Tip: If you’re not a frequent traveler or don’t have TSA precheck, the free TSA phone app has pretty much anything you could ever need to help you prepare for your trip.
And, please be nice to TSA agents. They’re not trying to ruin your day. They are doing their job, and the people you see at the security checks are not the individuals that created the policies. Be grateful they’re helping to keep us all safe.
The Healing Process
Fifth grade was a challenge in so many ways. I did eventually find a place, and a mutual enjoyment of Harry Potter books and excitement over the first movie being released helped me bond with a friend, Emily. My obsession with Harry Potter was something that I still carry with me to this day. Yes, it’s been almost 10 years since the final movie came out. And I celebrated in the best possible way. But that’s a story for another time.
Especially as I got into college, and even now, people would question my enjoyment of Hogwarts and the wizarding world and say to me, ‘Aren’t you a little old for that stuff?’ There are a lot of things I can say to that, but I’m only going to say one thing.
My Generation
Millennials have a reputation of being unrealistic, lazy, our heads in the clouds. In some ways that is true, but thank God for that. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Game of Thrones, and so many other make-believe places are real to us. Just like the people attending Comic-Con each year, my people are the ones that easily become engrossed in whatever it is they are reading, watching, playing. And do you know why?
Because the world fucking sucks.
There I was, 9 years old, in a new school and away from my friends (which at that age, not much is worse). And then this huge thing happened that altered every piece of reality. But, I had two books from my Aunt Alex and Uncle Paul (thanks for that!) and I loved to read. And lucky for me, someone else at school did too. It was a way to escape, a way to bond, a way to handle life. If a few books and movies helped forge friendships and create memories as we went to midnight movie releases, discussed theories, and laughed at Potter Puppet Pals, why is it a problem? If you felt miserable or terrified every day wouldn’t you want to escape?
Looking for Control
How do you explain the continued popularity of the Sims games? Sims 1 came out in 2000, and the fourth game is still going strong. But why? They give us control.
We can’t stop mean girls in school, drunk drivers, terrorism, and so many other things in life. But, we can literally build a world in whatever way we want. We can control all the people and their actions. It’s like something out of a comic book, except it’s on a computer screen filled with last exceptions, custom content, mods like “Slice of Life,” and MC Command Center.
Am I 29 and still playing the Sims regularly and just as enthusiastically as I did in middle school? Hell yes. Did I become so involved in my game last night that hours had passed and it was after 1 a.m. when I noticed the time? You bet. But why shouldn’t I? I know it’s not real. But it feels so damn good to be in control of everything sometimes. And let’s be honest, the only thing it’s hurting is my wallet… thanks EA.
As Millennials grew up, we all had to figure out how to exist in this world, a world that many times seems like it’s straight out of a movie and not real life. (I mean, come on, what the hell was 2020 and 2021?) Don’t judge us for our crazy fangirling. Our fandoms and all that comes with them are what have kept us sane.
Without them, I would still be the girl sobbing on her bed thinking we were about to build bomb shelters to live through a war. Because obviously the only possible outcome of 9/11 would be some sort of WWII East London bombing situation… in my backyard. The mind of a 9 year old is a very strange place apparently. But in my defense, no one ever told me that just wouldn’t happen. How would I know? I liked history a little too much for my own good, and I just watched planes intentionally fly into buildings.
Remembering September 11th, 2001
I have never been to the 9/11 memorial in New York City. I don’t know that I can mentally handle it. Even photos of the memorial bother me. My Dad recently visited the site of the Flight 93 crash in Pennsylvania, and just the photos from his visit had me sick to my stomach.
9/11 Memorials
To learn more about the memorial and get visiting information for the 9/11 Memorial & Museum in New York City, head here. You can also find information about the Tribute in Light here. If you have never seen the tribute in person, I highly recommend it. It lasted for 6 months after the attacks, and now annually on 9/11. I was able to see it while my family was driving to visit family in Connecticut when it was first lit. It’s indescribable. There are millions of beautiful photos out there, but they don’t do it justice.
For information on the Memorial at the Pentagon, head here.
For information about the National Park Memorial at the crash site of Flight 93, head here.
All of the memorial sites also have ideas, activities, and help for teaching children about 9/11 (for parents and teachers).
Donations
If you are in a position to donate to an organization, there are always groups that need help. Here are a couple of them. Even if you do not donate financially, donate a few minutes of your time to show them support on social media.
Heart 9/11 – This is a team of first responders from FDNY, NYPD, PAPD, and NYC Building Trades that bonded during the aftermath of 9/11. They now use their skills to help other communities that have been affected by disasters such as hurricanes and so much more.
Tuesday’s Children – This is a group that provides support for communities impacted by terrorism or violence. Some of the programs they run involve mental health services and youth mentoring. They take also take donations of time and expertise, so if you’re a psychologist or another applicable field, you can personally volunteer with them.
And, all of the memorials mentioned previously also accept donations.
Reading
I first found the story of Michael Wright a few years ago. Originally published in 2002, this article is re-published each year on September 11th. I won’t lie- it is not easy to read. The first time I read it, I was sick to my stomach. It’s graphic, detailed, and incredibly painful. But, I still end up reading it each year. I recommend this one more than any other story or article. Knowing that on that day he was 30 years old, the age I am now (almost), makes it even more powerful.
This article written by Steve Kandell about his sister’s death and his experience visiting the memorial in New York prior to the grand opening to the public. It’s interesting and when I first read this years ago, I did learn a lot more than I thought I would. The photos are mild, but it is not a light read.
Learn about some of the 300 search and rescue dogs that were called to Ground Zero and the Pentagon here. Or, head to the American Kennel Club’s page here. Both of those pages are relatively more happy. All of the dogs that helped in the rescue efforts are no longer with us, but the focus is more on their work and their handlers.
And, if you need a story that will make you smile, check out this story about a lost photo.
No matter what age you are, I hope this post and my last one have touched you in some way. Looking at the New York City skyline still makes me sad, and it probably always will. It will always look broken to me.
I know I’ve mentioned the Twin Towers more than I have the Pentagon or the Flight 93 crash. But, I don’t remember seeing images or videos of them on a daily basis like I saw footage and videos of the towers falling. I haven’t read stories of survivors or first responders from the Pentagon attack. The fact that the passengers on Flight 93 fought back is rarely mentioned. And that’s awful, because the amount of bravery and just sheer strength of will that must have taken is bringing me to tears as I type this.
If you know of stories of survivors, relatives, anything- send them my way on Twitter. I read stories and recollections each year on 9/11. It typically ends with an anxiety attack and me sobbing hysterically as I cry for people I never met, bt there’s a reason I do it. I want people to know that their stories and experiences matter to someone. Just like I hope that someone can find value in mine.
Read my previous post, “That Devastating Tuesday: A Millennial Remembers 9/11.”
Or, if you’re in need of some light-hearted reading material, check out this post about my first experience with Harry Potter, or this one about my dogs, “Two Maltese and a Beagle.”
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